All Hail The Timberlake

Wednesday night was The Timberlake concert, which judging from the state of Wednesday's panties, was all sorts of hotness [see the February 13th post for my first religion experience with JT]. Me and Janine [a.k.a Weiner] went home after school to primp ourselves to gorgeousness, then our day-long adventure began. We had to take the subway to Penn Station, where we hopped on the LIRR to Hempstead, then had to run to the Hempstead Bus Station where, in true Chree-&-Weiner fashion, we tried to use our New York City school Metrocards to get onto a Long Island bus [The Timberlake is lucky he's a succulent piece of man steak or else we really wouldn't have gone through all that trouble]. Of course, as most sane-minded people know, that did not work but thankfully, two fellow Timberlake fanatics that we met on the line at the bus station [Seriously, you can point us out. We have a crazed glow emanating from our pores] lent us their Metrocards. Without them, we seriously would've been stuck in freaking Hempstead crying over the lack of Sexyback. They're my saviors. We met more concert goers, including a French couple and some Hassidic Jews [The Timberlake brings the world together!] on the way to Nassau Coliseum, making us a very odd but uber-excited group.

When we got there, me and Weiner got into a little pickle. Cameras weren't allowed but of course we needed them to document The Timberlake's prettiness so I came up with the brilliant idea of hiding them in the hoods of our hoodies. I got through the security scanners problem-free and Weiner was almost in the clear when the guard's security stick hit against the camera in her hood. He wouldn't let her through and sent her to the security station which we both ran like fiends to [this would've been insanely awesome if "Chariots of Fire" was playing in the background]. Thankfully, they let her in, with the camera no less. Morons. We got down to the floor just as Pink [bow down bitches] started her set. Again, she's my new hero. You really don't expect her to be that good live but she really is.

The Timberlake= no words can do him justice. He even makes a keytar look sexy. A keytar people. That's talent. Because I already knew the concert format, I was the tard who kept screaming about five minutes before each song came on. Awkward. We got really close and the floor was really fun, except for a few minor nusiances:
1. The abundance of Amazonian giants. As a girl who falls in the petite category, I fully support the idea that venues sell floor tickets in height order- Oompa Loompas in front and Chewbaccas in back. Tall people don't like it? I have to wear heels just to get on a rollercoaster. It's only fair.
2. The gyrating twelve-year-olds who kept bump-n-grinding into us, one of whom even had the audacity to touch my shoulder to ask me about "Dick in a Box", which prompted me to scrub my skin to the point of severe shedding and seriously consider scheduling an HIV test or something. They looked like they were auditioning for Girls Gone Wild: The Preteen Years. Gag.
3. The brutal but entertaining cat fight that broke out in the midst of The Timberlake's set [Blasphemy! You do not claw out hair during "Lovestoned"!]. My theory: they couldn't agree which was hotter- Jew Fro Justin or G.I. Joe Justin.
Special Mention: The girl with the annoying Pebbles Flinstone messy bun in front of us, whose fly-aways kept jabbing me in the cornea when she shimmied and shaked. Asstard.

After the concert ended, went to meet up with my cousin Steph while Janine got paid ten bucks to teach some Russian girls how to use the telephone. We waited for Uncle Steve to pick us up, during which I fell in lust with a cute animal rights activist [I literally took like five pamphlets on pig abuse because he had long eyelashes and a dimple. I'm a desperate mess] and got attacked by a pack of large horses [Explanation: While waiting outside, a huge slate of ice fell off the roof of the Coliseum, scaring the police horses, who then proceeded to chase me, Janine and Steph. Steph stood there body frozen and mouth agape, Janine flung me into a steel sign out of sheer terror and I ended up crippled with hysteria and a bruised wenus. This is why my life is mine]. Went back to Uncle Steve's where I threw up [from migraine, not from sudden Timberlake separation or the wounded wenus] and got embarrassed by my entire family [ex: Drunk Joey driving us home, Grandpa screaming about pork chops, Aunt Annie shamelessly commenting about my plethora of exposed breast, etc.] Got home at 1, slept for 1.2 seconds and was off to school the next morning. We're the definition of troopers.

Other than that, the week was normal. Stayed home on Monday because it was supposed to be Senior Cut Day but apparently I didn't get the memo that I was the only senior cutting. Sick. Thursday and Friday, had a mental breakdown caused by the apparent lack of brain activity of one certain large-nostril'ed nun who decided to seat me in the corner next to her like a disobedient kindergartner rather than a college-bound senior, and who then proceeded to tell me I looked like a nervous wreck. Suck my hole and suck it hard sister. Hope you choke to death on some holy water. I took out my angst on B's chalkboard for forty minutes, which turned into one of the best pieces I've ever done. Home hasn't been much better. I have been grounded the entire weekend because of the St. Patty's ordeal [see March 18th's Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced post]. I've tried to quicken my imprisonment by sleeping an obscene amount of hours a day [although Thursday night I did wake up at record time, approximately 8:01, just in time for Ugly Betty. Jesus, even my subconscious is ruled by television], which has also helped the diet seeing as how my mouth is preoccupied with snoring. Speaking of which, I am very proud to say that for the past week, I have actually exercised. Yes, people, Chree said, er typed the word exercise. I became acquainted with the Elliptical and we've begun a very casual but promising relationship. Till now, my only weight loss attempt other than Weight Watchers was switching to light beer. I am currently at work, wasting the day with Japanese Figure Skating and a Saturday afternoon movie with Russell Crowe in a furry squirrel hat. I'm done. Ciao.

Edit: Pictures of The Timberlake will hopefully be up soon.
Random Thought: Whatever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?